It Could Only Happen In Sweet Valley
by unscathedmuse
Summary: Todd wants more from Liz! Sam's back... but will he ever be the same again? And is Alice Wakefield all she has claimed to be? Oh, and Jessica has ANOTHER identity crisis...(takes place in junior year, rated PG in case some people are offended by Todd)
1. Two different girls that look the same

  
  
A/N: This is my first fan fiction, so sorry if some of the chapters are a tad short.

Disclaimer: I adore Sweet Valley High but unfortunately do not own any of the Sweet Valley books nor do I own any of its characters, or any of the songs mentioned in Chapter Four.

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"Oh Lizzie, you won't believe how unbelievably cute the new guy is," Jessica Wakefield gushed to her twin, flopping down on her twin sister Elizabeth's bed.

"Jessica, I just made that!" Elizabeth cried, pulling her sister off the bed and straightening the plastic sheet she covered it with to stop any form of dust, lint or dirt getting on it. The same plastic sheet covered everything in Elizabeth's bedroom: it was a running joke in the Wakefield family that Elizabeth was the neat one whereas Jessica, with her sty of a room complete with walls covered in mud and it's very own pig, was the messy one.

"Never mind that," Jessica said, dismissively whilst picking up Elizabeth's brand new top, skirt, bag and lipstick. Jessica was a closet kleptomaniac, which explained why she always had Elizabeth's belongings in her bedroom. "The important thing is, how do I get the new guy to notice me?"

"Um... Jess, didn't your boyfriend die only a week ago?" Elizabeth reminded her sister, tentatively.

"Well, yeah, but it only took me like two months to get over Sam's death – even though you killed him, which was my fault – oh, thanks for forgiving me by the way, sis, seeing as I got you arrested an' all... what was my point? Oh yeah, Sam's death... and Christian, I was madly in love with him but I soon found someone else. So I figured a week is about right for getting over this guy, I mean, his death wasn't all that tragic. No drink-driving accident, no high school war... why should I waste my tears on him?"

"True. But I still feel you're being a little inconsiderate. I don't know what I'd do if Todd died," declared Elizabeth.

"Well, there's always Jeffrey. I'm sure he'd take you back, although saying that he did let you go without much of a fight, but, look, we're digressing here. What about my problem?" Jessica asked, pocketing one of Elizabeth's bras while Elizabeth began to write an article for their school newspaper, The Oracle.

"Since when have you worried about how to get guys, Jess? And since when have you asked for my advice? You usually go to Lila or Amy for this kind of thing, I'm only your twin sister, the closest person to you..." Elizabeth pointed out.

"Good point, Liz," Jessica replied, gratefully.

"Now can I get some peace while I finish this article?" Elizabeth requested, rolling her eyes. She didn't really know why she was rolling them, but it was something both she and Jessica did at each other a lot, so she felt it would go with the moment.

"But you only just started it-" Jessica began.

"So? I usually get them finished within a chapter, don't I?"

"Oh yeah," remembered Jessica. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to it. See you big sis!"

'Big sis' was another running joke between the Wakefield twins. Elizabeth was born four minutes before Jessica, and they joked that Jessica's late arrival was to set the pace for a habit of a lifetime. However, neither of them had thought how difficult it would have been for Alice to squeeze two watermelon-sized babies out of her at once... and to think Elizabeth was supposed to be the intelligent one.


	2. The Silent W

The next day, Jessica decided to wear Elizabeth's oxford shirt and khaki pants to school even though it completely wasn't her style, it was possibly something to do with her kleptomania. In turn, Elizabeth wore Jessica's denim mini-skirt with a pink halter-top. Jessica wore her hair in barrettes, Elizabeth with hers cascading down her shoulders.

When they arrived at school in the Jeep their parents had bought them as a reward for managing to crash two cars within their junior year, nobody really looked at them twice until Lila Fowler strutted over.

"Hey Jess," she addressed Elizabeth; glancing at Jessica with one of her cool I-don't-know-you-and-I-don't-want-to-know-you-because-well-basically-I'm-a-snob looks.

"Ugh, Lila! I can't believe you don't recognise me! Like, can't you tell us apart without us wearing our stereotypical clothing? Jeez!" Jessica sulked, grabbing the clip out of Lila's hair and stomping off.

"What was all that about, Jess?" Lila inquired, her brow furrowing. "Your sister is acting really strange these days."

"Um, I'm Elizabeth, Lila," Elizabeth explained patiently.

"Really? Well, no offence, but you look like an H-O-R-E," Lila told her, before turning on her ninety thousand dollar heels and stalking off.

Elizabeth smirked. "Oh yeah? Well, guess what? You missed off the silent 'W'! Who's laughing now?"


	3. Kissing Todd

"Guess who?" a voice asked Jessica, his hands cupped over her eyes.

"Let me guess... Todd Wilkins," Jessica replied in a bored tone.

"Wow, you're on the ball today Liz. Guess what you win?" Todd said, spinning her round playfully.

"I don't know."

"A kiss!"

"Oh joy."

Jessica knew that this would be the time to tell Todd that she was in fact Jessica, but, there had to be some perks to people thinking she was her twin all the time. So she let Todd take her in his arms and kiss her.

"Jessica?" Todd gaped when the kiss ended.

"Yup, got it in one, Wilkins," she answered, smiling secretively. Her secret was that she'd just stolen Todd's cell phone from his pocket.

"Wow. You kiss way better than – I mean, what are you doing dressed as Liz?"

"Oh, man, why can't people just accept that Liz and I are different people? You guys are always comparing us and it's like so unfair. If we were just sisters you wouldn't do that, would you? Huh? No, you wouldn't."

"Chill, Jess. You should be grateful that we only mix you up once every twelve books. I mean, you're identical, right down to the mole on your shoulder – you know, the exact same one as your ancestors Jessamyn and Elisabeth had? Don't you think it's funny that you're clones of them, and your names are nearly clones?"

Jessica left Todd to ramble to himself, and used his phone to call Lila.

"Lila, we have a serious issue here," she said, seriously when Lila picked up.

"What?"

"People keep thinking I'm Liz, just because I'm dressed exactly like her today! How rude is that? I'm my own person, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I totally see your point. But the Jessica Wakefield I know wouldn't just stand around moping about it – she'd go out and do something!"

"Well, that's why I called. I'm enlisting your help because you're rich and you're my friend and, well... mainly because you're rich."


	4. Ah, Miller's Point

Some hours later, Elizabeth and Todd were up at Miller's Point in Todd's car. Elizabeth, despite Todd slobbering all over her neck and making an obvious hint by putting 'Fever for the Flava', 'Let's Get It On', '2 Become 1' and so on, couldn't help but notice how beautiful Sweet Valley looked from up here, with all the lights twinkling like pretty little stars and the tide crashing against the beach on which Sweet Valley was situated. It was funny though, Elizabeth could never locate Sweet Valley on the map, and all she knew was that it was Southern California, on the coast...

Suddenly, Elizabeth was distracted from her thoughts to find Todd mauling her breasts.

"Uh... what are you doing?" she asked, laughing worriedly.

"Jeez Liz, what do you think I'm doing?" he said, through gritted teeth.

"It looks like you're... touching me... there..."

"Yes. I. Am. And do you know why Liz?" Todd demanded.

"No, it feels kind of funny to be honest..." Elizabeth replied, honestly.

"No. I'm doing it because we've been together since the sixth freaking grade and all we ever do is kiss! And even that's stale. I got better thrills when Margo took me out to the movies that time!" Todd said, exasperatedly.

"How dare you mention her? She tried to kill me!" Elizabeth screamed.

"Oh B.F.D. How many people have tried to kill you and Jessica now? There was Margo, Nora, that guy your dad locked up years ago and he came back twice, that werewolf dude you hooked up with –" here, Elizabeth tried to interrupt. She cheated on Todd regularly, and only felt guilty if he mentioned it "... I wish you'd stop milking the fact everyone wants to kill you! Have you ever thought there might be a reason for that?" yelled Todd.

"Yes, actually. But I didn't get anywhere. Why would anyone want to kill Jessica or me? We're both smart, pretty, popular, fun..."

"Frigid," Todd spat out, cruelly. You have to sympathise with the guy though, I mean they've been together four or five years now, he's a young hot-blooded male and Elizabeth just won't give him what he wants. And she's not even religious!

"Oh, Todd! Why can't you ever be like you used to, before you moved to Vermont?" Elizabeth cried, in despair.

"Because you see, Liz, here's how it works in Sweet Valley. Whenever anyone moves away from here and comes back, they change. Amy and I are prime examples," Todd explained, taking Elizabeth's hand.

"How did I not work that out? Did years of Amanda Howard mysteries not teach me anything?"


	5. Dang I hate that Triumph

"I'm just so ugly!" wailed Jessica, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Five foot six with bouncy blonde hair and eyes the colour of the Pacific Ocean, size six figure with long athletic legs and a peaches-and-cream complexion (although in some books, it's tan), Jessica was indeed the epitome of ugly. "And not only that, but no-one even knows who I am! All they see is Liz, Liz, Liz!"

"I know, LizImeanJessica," Lila soothed, sympathetically. "Now, when you have this identity crisis, you usually do one of two things – run away, or change your image. Which is to be today?"

"New image, I think, Li," sniffled Jessica. "Can you pay for it all again?"

"Of course I can, Jess," smiled Lila. "That's my main function. To pay for your needs when your parents get annoyed with you for maxing out their credit cards. Although, saying that, they do tend to make empty threats don't they? Fools."

Jessica frowned. There was no need for Lila to be so cruel about her parents. Then she shrugged. Lila was probably bitter because her dad's name was George and Jessica's dad's name was Ned, which was way cooler. Of course, Lila claimed her embitterment was due to the fact her dad worked a lot, whereas the Wakefield parents were at home all hours of the day (unless it was inconvenient for a meagre plot-line, such as the introduction of Prince Albert) despite the fact Daddy Wakefield was the big-wig of a law firm and Mommy Wakefield an in-demand interior designer.

"Okay so where first?" enquired Lila; oblivious to the fact that Jessica had just taken her television, car keys and nail file.

"Hmmm, well there's Lisette's and... um, Lisette's...?" suggested Jessica.

"Let's go! To the Fowler-mobile!" (Although why the Fowler-mobile had to be a bright green Triumph nobody would ever know.)


	6. Dirty Todd

"You can never go back to holding hands you know Todd," chastised Elizabeth, having spent the hour they had been at Miller's Point lecturing him on the wonder that was celibacy.

"Why would you want to?" he muttered, sullenly. At this rate, he thought, I'll have to pay to see some booty...

"What?" Elizabeth snapped, her face a look of pure disgust.

Oops. He didn't realise he'd said that aloud. But wasn't that always the way with thoughts people weren't meant to hear in Sweet Valley?

Fortunately, he was saved by the bell (sorry, wrong TV show) when his car phone rang. He answered eagerly, anything to save him from his stick-in-the-mud girlfriend. It wasn't that he didn't love Liz – he did – but the guys on the team had been ragging him for years now that he and Liz had barely even made it to first base. And his tube sock was getting really stale nowadays... in more ways than one.

Well Wilkins, he thought, congratulations. You have succeeded in grossing even yourself out. He suddenly realised that he still had the phone in his hand:

"Hello?"

"Oh, hello, Todd, this is Alice Wakefield."

Mmmm, Todd contemplated. Now Alice is definitely one hot tamale.

"Todd!" exclaimed Elizabeth, shocked.

"I'm sorry, dear, what did you say?" Alice wanted to know, puzzled.

"Oh, nothing Mrs. W," Todd answered, sweetly. "What's up?"

"Is Liz with you?"

"Sure, I'll put her on." Todd flung the phone at Elizabeth.

"Hi, Mom," Elizabeth said, cheerily.

"Liz, I need you to come home right now. There's something I need to tell you all."


	7. Sam's Kill Bill Vol 2 Moment

Meanwhile, in a graveyard a few miles away from Sweet Valley, there was a commotion in one of the coffins. Sam Woodruff awoke from his coma with a start.

"Holy macaroni," he whispered to himself. "Where the hell am I?"

He inhaled. He could smell wood, and dirt, and... bodies...

"Holy cow, they thought I was dead!"

He thought for a few seconds about his predicament. He could, of course, allow sleep to consume him and die peacefully. Or he could use the technique Pai-Mei taught him when he went to train to become a member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.

Pai-Mei had forced him to undergo a rigorous routine of training daily for a year or so, back when it had been Sam's dream to work for Bill. He had learnt how to punch his way through thick blocks of wood, and at the time he had remarked to himself how handy this would be if he were ever stuck in a coffin.

Breathing in resolutely, Sam put his fist out in front of him and began to hit the thick wood. Like a true hero, it only took around ten thumps for the thing to give way, but Sam hadn't bargained on all the dirt falling in on him. It went in his mouth, his hair, even under his fingernails... ew.

Snap out of it, dude, he scolded himself. You are a frickin' dirt biker. You're supposed to love dirt.

But, but, it's got like, worms in a stuff, the part of himself that he called 'Jessica' whined.

Fortunately, Sam overcame the mud problem and wriggled his way up to the surface, where he broke free. He didn't need to catch his breath, he just ran all the way from Bridgewater to Sweet Valley to find the woman he loved. Without stopping. Unbelievable, yes, but don't forget that Sam is a hero – and this is Sweet Valley.


	8. Where's my twin?

Elizabeth looked around the family room as she nervously awaited her mother's arrival. Steven was sitting on the recliner in the corner, and Elizabeth had to admire the way her brother could magically appear home whenever he was needed. Most college guys, she assumed, would have tons of work to do, as well as other commitments, but it seemed that Steven was still 100% there for his family. Steven, of course, knew that he was actually co-dependent on his family and there was not a chance in hell that he would ever spend an entire week at college. However, catching his sister staring at him, he threw her a grin. A characteristic sparkle shone off his pearly whites, emitting a "ping" sound and Elizabeth winked. Elizabeth often winked.

Suddenly, in flounced Jessica. There was no apparent reason for said flouncing, but we all know that Jessica is a grade A – or, more appropriately, E – attention seeker, so that was probably the underlying motive for it. Jessica, as promised, had changed her image.

Her hair was now bright pink, and cropped closely to her head. She had seventeen piercings dotted about her face, and her eyes were masked by thick black eye liner. She wore a stringy black top, cropped tartan pants, New Rock boots and various sweatbands, bracelets and necklaces to complete the image.

"Hello, actually," she said.

Whenever Jessica changed her image, she had a habit of speaking in what she thought was a British accent. It was really annoying.

She plonked herself down next to Elizabeth, who took one look at her and burst into tears.

Jessica rolled her eyes. She was starting to think she needed glasses.

"Liz, if you're going to do this every time I change my image, I may have to disown you."

This was a common threat used by Jessica, and it worked every time because, basically, Elizabeth was a total sap and fell for it every time.

"I know. You're right, Jess. It's just I love the fact we look like each other, it's like carrying a mirror around with me all day, which is kind of cool, when you think about it. And it gets you out of all sorts of scams, and remember the time when...?"

Before Elizabeth could continue with her mindless pro-identical twin drivel, their parents entered the room.

Ned sat down on the couch, pulling Alice onto his lap. Ned always touched Alice up; after all, he had almost lost her to Hank Patman... which doesn't make sense, which was why there had been a book to explain it: Sweet Valley Saga. Ned thought it odd that there were so many books around, starring his whole family, but before he could deliberate on this for too long he realised that he was procrastinating.

"Okay, we told you guys that we had some pretty big news..." Ned began.


	9. Dun dun duhhh

"Zombie!" Elizabeth screamed, cowering on the sofa in fright. It was times like these she wished she had her briefcase with her, for Sam – supposedly dead for almost a year now – was standing in the door to the den.

Jessica gasped. Sam Woodruff.

"Jessica," he said, hoarsely, walking over to Elizabeth and taking her hand in his.

Ned and Alice exchanged glances; apparently, eye rolling was a common occurrence in the Wakefield family, so they had to do it seeing as their daughters were so overcome with the moment.

Elizabeth spoke gently, using her best objective reporter's voice in an attempt not to embarrass Sam. "I'm Elizabeth, you twit."

"Oh... right..." Sam looked confused, and shifted his gaze to the wannabe punk next to Elizabeth, who at that moment was reaching out to steal Sam's shoe. He frowned. "Jessica?"

"Hey, Sammy..." she said, coyly.

"What the cluck have you done to yourself?" he cried, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "Where's the beautiful Jess gone, the one I knew and loved?"

Jessica scowled, running her fingers through her scarlet hair. "Actually, I think you'll find I am still rather dapper, Samuel. It's simply that it was raining cats and dogs when I took tea yesterday in Hyde Park with the Queen and thus I had to snip off my locks when I walked on the pavement..."

"Jess," whispered Elizabeth. "What are you doing?"

"Sssh, Liz. I'm being British."

There was an awkward silence. Alice took another deep breath. It seemed that Jessica and Elizabeth weren't going to get anywhere with Sam – she wasn't too shocked by his back-from-the-dead appearance, after all, this was Sweet Valley – and damn them if they were going to steal her limelight.

"Steven, Elizabeth, Jessica... the news... I'm actually... your sister."


	10. The angst! The suspense! Can we cope?

Jessica gasped. "Holy sh-"

"It's unbelievable!" Elizabeth interrupted, provoking a glare from her sister. How dare Elizabeth interrupt? That had always been her job, and who cared if she had changed her image? She was still the same old Jessica... apart from the nonsensical British accent, and the pink hair, and the Brody Dalle style trousers, and the putting her new image ahead of the return of Sam. Jessica suddenly realised that, lost in her thoughts, she had been staring at her sister for a good few minutes. Whilst her family focused on her, she did a little dance. Anything for attention.

"Um, Mom... I don't believe I heard you correctly...?" Steven inquired, wishing that he hadn't given up a weekend being intellectual with his girlfriend, Billie, due to his worrying obsession with his wacko family.

"Oh I think you did, Steve. I'm your sister."

Elizabeth couldn't control her breathing. Her aqua marine eyes became an intense shade of blue – perhaps it was down to an eye-rolling extravaganza? – and she began to hyperventilate.

"Liz, chill," ordered Mr. Wakefield, throwing her briefcase to her. Elizabeth clutched it, desperately. Looking in through the window, as he often did nowadays, Todd thought bitterly, 'I wish she'd hold me like that.'

After a few moments, Elizabeth was calm again. It was amazing what that smell of faux-leather could do to her. "Okay, Mom – Alice... could you perhaps explain?"

"Like we need an explanation," Jessica objected, toying with the bracelet she had just expertly removed from her twin's wrist. "To me it sounds like some twisted version of a word what rhymes with grincest."

"What's grincest?" Steve wondered aloud.

Elizabeth, ever the know-it-all eyed her brother, patronisingly. "Grincest. You know... it means, like... when people..." Realising for once that she didn't have all the answers, she turned to her sister helplessly.

"It's okay, Liz," Jessica whispered. "It's a made up word."

"Oh," Elizabeth whispered back, then busied herself in cleaning her briefcase.

"Anyway... no, Jessica, it isn't what you think. Here's the thing..." Alice began, biting her lip as is also common in Wakefield family facial expressions. Jessica does it the most, closely followed by Elizabeth.

"You know how we always call you guys 'the clones' or 'carbon copies?'" Mr. Wakefield took over from Alice, seeing her distress. His children nodded, watching him anxiously. "Well... it's kind of ironic really... because your real mother and I, well, we went and made a clone of you two in case anything ever happened to one of you. The idea was that we lock her in the attic and if one of you died, then the third twin could take over."

"That's a good idea, Dad," Steven said, admiringly. He made a mental note to himself: when he had kids, he would do just as his father did and clone one of them, then forcing them to take over the role as Mommy. That, to him, was the true Wakefield way.

"There's just one thing I don't understand," Elizabeth spoke up, having recovered from the embarrassment of being, once again, less intelligent than her supposedly-dumb sister.

"Yes, Liz?" Alice replied, in her best mothering tone. Heck, she wasn't their real mother, but she had pretended to be for the last eleven years and it was kind of hard to break the habit.

"How, if you are a carbon copy of Jess and I, did you become older, and well, Mom?"

"That's an interesting question, Liz," Mr. Wakefield congratulated his daughter, ever the supportive, loving father, even in these difficult and somewhat confusing times.

"You see, Liz, one night I was in my cage up in the attic and a freak bolt of lightning came clean through the roof and zapped me in the head. Suddenly, I aged thirty years," explained Alice.

Jessica yawned and ran a hand through her long, blonde silky mane. Yes, it had been a crude shade of magenta but minutes before, but inconsistency was a way of life in Sweet Valley. "Listen, Alice, this story is about as believable as the Liz-Bruce plot a few books back. And even if it is true, who was our real mom? And where the smell is she now?"

"No time for that now, Jess," reminded Elizabeth. "We have to cram in the lead-up to the next book."

"Dang, I forgot about that," Jessica said, clapping a hand to her forehead and stuffing an appliquéd cushion up her sweater in one fell swoop. "What's the next adventure?"

Elizabeth reached into her treasured briefcase to pull out a photo. She stared at it, shocked, for a second and then turned to Jessica. "How could you do it, Jess?" she asked brokenly, flinging the photograph at her sister and storming out of the den.

Jessica stared at the picture lying in her lap, crumpled. It showed herself and Todd Wilkins in a very Paris-Hilton-and-Nick-Carter-alike pose, full frontal if ever she saw it. But – shock horror – this wasn't her! She would never get with Todd, not since the return of her darling boy Sam! How could her sister even think she'd stoop so low as to cheat on Sam? So what if she cheated on everyone, ever? And more to the point, who was the girl in the picture? A girl who looked just the same as she and Elizabeth, but different... with steely blue eyes and deep ebony roots to contrast with the golden blonde hair...

Surely... it couldn't be... Margo... or worse... Nora? Or even Norgo, the you-really-should-have-seen-it-coming third sister?!


End file.
